Pay it back vs. pay it forward
We are often conscious of feeling obliged to pay something back. We have been taught from early on that if someone gives you a gift you are supposed to give them one back.
Of course, the idea of an obligation to give something back seems to void the very notion behind a gift that is freely given. It seems we do not like to be in anyone’s debt. The gift becomes the fulfillment of a contract.
Enter pay it forward. In the film of that name a teacher challenges students to do something that will change the world. One of the students, Trevor, comes up with the idea that he will do a good deed for three people. In turn, he will ask these three people to “pay it forward” by doing something nice for three other people. Trevor’s idea is that people will continue to help others after being helped, setting in motion an endless chain reaction.
Jesus teaches us to pay it forward
I often think, isn’t that what Jesus’ mission was all about… teaching us to pay the gift of God’s love forward. After all, God has first loved us and wants us to manifest that gift in our lives! Isn’t this what Jesus did? And it changed and is changing the world!
Jesus taught this “pay it forward” theory in his parables
- The good Samaritan wasn’t paying anyone back. He was simply giving the gift of his care without asking for anything in return.
- The parable about the unforgiving servant makes the same point in reverse. The master, in effect, says… I gave you the gift of forgiveness. Why did you not pass it on and forgive another debtor his debts?
Both end with “go and do likewise”!
Jesus modeled “pay it forward’
Of course, the washing of the feet and Jesus dying for us is the ultimate expression of “pay it forward”. Do this in memory of me! Wash one another’s feet. Lay down your life for your sisters and brothers.
Pope Francis’ Pay It Forward Plan for Peace
Echoing much of his encyclical Fratelli Tutti, in his Message for the 2021 World Day of Peace he writes…
I have chosen as the title of this year’s Message, A Culture of Care as a Path to Peace. A culture of care as a way to combat the culture of indifference, waste and confrontation so prevalent in our time. There can be no peace without a culture of care.
The culture of care thus calls for a common, supportive and inclusive commitment to protecting and promoting the dignity and good of all, a willingness to show care and compassion, to work for reconciliation and healing, and to advance mutual respect and acceptance. As such, it represents a privileged path to peace.
At a time like this, when the barque of humanity, tossed by the storm of the current crisis, struggles to advance towards a calmer and more serene horizon, the “rudder” of human dignity and the “compass” of fundamental social principles can enable us together to steer a sure course.
In this message, he then describes the many ways we can imitate Jesus and pay it forward.
I read his message as a call for us to pay forward the unmerited gift of love Jesus taught and lived. This is the path to peace!
Paying it forward in our lives
- Am I conscious of the gift of love I have received from God?
- How can I pay it forward in my daily life?
- Can I recognize the times when I have not been the Good Samaritan and cared for the other?
Click below for an audio version of this Vincentian Mindwalk
I guess I have always had a problem with “pay it forward” after I read about a highly paid professional who had received a kidney donated by a relatively poor person and his “pay it forward” was to add a one-time extra $1 to his tip at the restaurant that he frequents. I had thought the “pay it forward” gesture should take on a commensurate amount of sacrifice as the original “payment.”
However, in your example, that becomes impossible. We could never offer a sacrifice that measured up to the sacrifice Jesus gave us. So, we have to find the sacrifices that enable others to give something as well.
In a similar vein, I’m puzzled by the celebrities who recently have been challenging other celebrities to give a one-time exorbitant tip at restaurants when they dine out. In most cases, the recipient of the tip doesn’t actually get the tip because management controls them. It seems to boil down to no more than a publicity stunt aimed at focusing on the celebrities rather than on the wage injustices that exist in the retail and food industries.
What’s my point? Paying it forward has challenges of its own and just because it makes me feel good doesn’t necessarily mean that the recipient will appreciate the gesture, especially if I end up taking credit for it in my social circle or on social media.
On the flip side, we have heard so often the reports of families who were helped by Vincentians; yet the Vincentians never imagined how that gesture had had such a lasting impression on those helped. So often, we stand on the shoulders of those who had been helping others their whole lives with little or no publicity or acknowledgment.
God, in his infinite mercy, sorts all of that out and I trust he’ll forgive my times of not measuring up with my tiny offering of sacrifice.
I never thought of paying it forward as primarily motivated by feeling good about it. If that is the motivation I stand with Jesus who said they have already received their reward.
I definitely agree with the observation that celebrities might have more of an impact by addressing the systemic wage injustices.
Lots of very evocative thoughts and images. Hope you don’t mind of I steal some…!
Thanks, Tom.
The ideas are not copyrighted. I actually hope that we can share them widely.